High Noon and Other Omelets
Why is it that we have to suffer the consequences of our actions? Who decided it was necessary for us to ‘reap what we sow’? Why couldn’t I just attach my sorriest crop of consequences to an e-mail and send them off to my least favorite Aunt, or to Marvin Hockstedder who stood me up at the Sock Hop? Life would be so much easier, and more fair, don’t you think? I mean Marvin (my 8th grade nemesis) definitely deserves it, and as for Aunty; better her than me.
It began early in life; these unwelcome ‘life lessons’. At thirteen or so I was starring on a weekly TV show. This was in the days of the ‘little black box’ they said would never last. There was no union in television, so we worked for miniature cameras made in Japan, free make-up samples and an occasional road trip, which was actually paid for, sometimes.
I’d been on the show for a while and people were starting to recognize me. Naturally, being a perfectly normally weird and terrified 13 year old (off camera), it didn’t affect me at all; except this one time.
Walking into the Broadway Department store with my Mother, I over heard some ladies whispering: “Isn’t that the girl from… Could it be..? We watch her show every…” Right about then I did a face plant; right in the middle of the aisle, in front of the two ladies, who giggled as they walked away.
Now was that necessary? There’s nothing normal about being thirteen; not then, not now. I still tremble when I look at coddled eggs, and the Broadway had to go out of business!
Fast forward to 2007. You need to know here that I am an exceptional driver. I can do just about anything with my car. Therefore, when I discovered my car had been blocked in by a forty-foot-long semi delivering food to Del Taco, I wasn’t worried. Any ordinary plebian might have waited for the driver to come out, or gone in to find him, but that never entered my exceptional driver’s mind. Aha! A Challenge I couldn’t resist! I knew I could turn my Champagne colored Camry around in the teensie area between the tail gate of the semi and the Del Taco drive-through. (Get out the omelet pan and start heating it up.)
While I was jockeying back and forth, a huge SUV pulled in behind me blocking my exit! By then, my front tires were up on the tail gate of the semi, and my back tires were becoming intimately acquainted with the Del Taco menu board!
As we sat there staring at each other through our tinted car windows in a Western style face-off, the driver of the SUV was like, “DO SOMETHING!” and I was like “WHAT?” Then for some reason, instead of skulking off in a snit, or screaming and tearing my hair (or hers) I started to laugh and I couldn’t stop! Just then the driver came out apologizing and started to straighten out the mess. The SUV vanished as quickly as it appeared and the driver sent me on my way, wiping my eyes and grinning from ear to ear.
Life seems to smile at me more these days than frowns. Could it be that I’m smiling more at life? It’s probably some trick of nature. At least Marvin hasn’t stood me up lately. I haven’t done a face plant in absolutely years, and I’m starting to like eggs!
Nancy B Berggren
661-290-2965
nancyb1007@msn.com
